Verrry interesting!!!!

We all know that 14th of February is Valentine's Day. In other words, it's Lovers' Day. We also know that 14th of November is Children's Day. 

But I dont know how many of you have realized this earlier that the time period between these two celebrated days is nine months (please pardon me if I have woken up too late....sincere apologies to not have noticed this simple thing for so long).

So, my question here is whether the gestation period for human beings is what it is now, by the Almighty's wishes or it has got something to do with the solar calendar.

P.S.

So, if we put in a lot of 'effort' on 14th Feb, we can prepare ourselves for a party every year on 14th Nov. What say you...:P :P

Honour killing...

Never been a term more apt for an act so gruesome, so laced with ill logic, so designed by hot-headedness, so motivated by shallow thinking and so criminal.

The act is carried out supposedly to preserve the sanctity of the family in particular and the community at large. However, the act only manages to rip off in an instant, the honour right from its roots which had set in that particular community over ages.

This heinous act of killing the young people is solicited and provoked by the ‘khap’ panchayat and is carried out by the people (from inside or outside the concerned families), who for some totally unknown reason, have bestowed upon them the right and duty to safeguard the dignity of the community. These members of the panchayat and also the people involved in this bloody madness show extreme sincerity, dedication and enthusiasm towards carrying out this barbaric act. If only they had shown such an attitude towards learning to open up their minds and at least try to reason out the step taken by the young couple.

The panchayat is in no mood to change its stand regarding this issue. They will never take a step backward because they fear they might lose their tight grip over the people of their creed. They have ruled their people with a so-called iron fist and they have all the plans to do so even in future, in their own ways and manners.

They are making a mockery of the law of this country. They are taking the law of the land in their own hands and throwing it to the gallows. The honourable Supreme Court should condemn this act with firmness and should direct the concerned people in public service to take control of the situation immediately mightily.

We should act without further ado before it’s so late that the law of the land loses its own honour as well in the eyes of the people.

Clicking in the dark

Ever heard of the famous line “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? If you have, then you would certainly understand what I am trying to say here. But if you haven’t heard of this line, then you better mug it up soon. Because this is exactly what the concerned authorities, who conduct one of the most awaited exams of any year (CAT), have conveniently forgotten. 

They had set out to bell the CAT but instead ended up ringing the death knell for around two and a half lakh CAT aspirants. Partnering them in this mess was Prometric who are well-known for conducting the GRE in India. 

The issue cited by the CAT authorities was that the number of CAT applicants was increasing every year and it was becoming extremely difficult to manage the assessment of sheets of this humongous figure of aspirants. So, they decided to overhaul the present paper-pencil format of the exam and came up with an online format with the able help of Prometric. 

Going by the track record of Prometric of successfully conducting the GRE for years, it was expected that they would be able to handle the logistics and technological requirements required to carry out this mammoth operation. But, I believe some introspection should have been done before they nosedived into the digital pool. The authorities and Prometric might have dived without knowing how to swim but the ones who actually drowned were the students. Instead of darkening the circles, the students were circling in the dark. Instead of the system assessing the students’ answers in a flash, the system started flashing the “error” message on the screen. Students usually get tensed whether they will be able to crack the maths section or whether they will ever be able to figure out those passages in English. Instead students started getting nervous whether they will be able to even see the DI section because the Verbal section didn’t move off the screen for two and a half hours. 

The students’ careers are on the line for these two and a half hours but the CAT authorities decided, without a detailed thought, to toy around with this critical time. I do agree that this system will have to be in place sooner than later but proper, well-informed and well thought out plan should be in place for such a re-engineering idea to take shape. I personally believe that these people tried to do “too much too soon”.

Pyramids

If you think that pyramids were of interest to only the stiff-necked Pharaohs who believed in 'life after death' (mannnn.....human beings love to live forever......even if that life is after death!!!!!!), then think again......and you need not think hard. 

Pyramids have attracted almost everyone, from historians, to physicists, to mathematicians, to archaeologists, to tourists, to students, to film-makers, to photographers (professional or freelance) to international bodies (desperate to put the Pyramid of Giza on the list of the Seven Wonders of the World), to management gurus.

Not really sure about the life of the Pharaohs but the pyramids are surely going to live on in the minds of the generations of people forever. I sometimes wonder how on earth would it have been possible for the management gurus to explain the basic theories of their respective subjects. From Maslow's hierarchy of needs of a person, to the Consumer Based Brand Equity model, to the Pyramid sales concept, to the relatively new strategy of targeting the bottom of the pyramid etc; we have pyramids all over the place. Sometimes, we even show the hierarchy of the managerial levels in terms of a pyramid. Then, we have the inverted versions of these diagrams as well. 

It seems as though we are not specializing in marketing or finance or operations or strategy, but we are all generalizing in Pyramid management. And if that is the case then I would like to take the liberty of describing a situation which is “universal” across the length and breadth of India and according to your truly, is not in sync with the concept of a welfare state.

The situation I am referring to is the distribution of the number of students as per their grades in the academic exams. The figure proposed by me would be a diamond.

I will just broadly divide the diamond into 3 parts horizontally. The top part is that of the top scorers, who are few in number. The second part is that of the above average and the average scorers who are in the sheer majority. Then comes the bottom part which houses the not so average and the casual scorers, who are again few in number; maybe this time it’s even fewer.

However, the number of job opportunities follows the inverted pyramid format (whatever happened to the equitable distribution of wealth and resources?) Not only does the number of job opportunities fall as we move down the figure but also the quality of the jobs (judged on three parameters: brand-name, profile and pay).

A job opportunity enters the inverted pyramid at the top, goes through the perusal of the “achievers”, if not found suitable by them, it slips into the purview of the “competitors”. If it’s not found upto the mark even by these “competitors”, then it percolates down to the group of “strivers/freelancers”.

For generations together, people have spoken large-heartedly, rationally and with concern that grades are not indicative of how much knowledge and applicable talent a person possesses. But no concrete action has been taken in this direction till date and neither does it seem to be a likely scenario in the near future.

Well, each view has its own set of advocates who have vowed to safeguard the opinion they stand by steadfastly. Whatever people might say or do, we can rest assured that if this predicament is not treated properly and in good time, many of us would see their dreams and aspirations being mummified, time and again, and put in these pyramids for good. And believe me when I say that these mummies wont “rest in peace".

Interesting!!!!!

Hey everyone!!!!! I am back!!!!! Well, not that anyone has been actually missing me but no one can change my belief either.......the belief that people around me long to see me and they miss me the moment I am gone......now that I have been able to convey how humble I am and how I think myself to be a lesser mortal, i would like to pen down (rather type down ) a few observations about how the first year in IMT was and how it changed my life, adding some value to my life along the way.

Firstly, I would like to make this very clear that there has been no change in my life whatsoever......not the slightest bit..........there might have been changes in my lifestyle but not in my life. There has not been any value addition either, be it in terms of lessons in life or managerial knowledge...  (sounds very happening ,doesnt it?). Happening or not, I liked the way it was (sorry.....I loved it!!!).

Life in first year in IMT was hectic and tiring...........there was some cut-throat competition going on among the students..........it was nothing academic...infact it was regarding watching movies and sitcoms and soaps and serials and the like........every next person you would have bumped into would have been a bigger movie buff than the previous one.

Parties happen all the time......but they are not just any party.......they were for a reason and I have realized one thing; that IMTians are Masters/Mistresses in coming up with reasons for such parties. Parties can be for celebrating some success or for relieiving yourself of the depression of some failure, they can be after the exams get over (be it mid-term or end-term) or before the exams start off (to gather enough momentum to carry yourself through the exams), they can be for busting the stress of heavy project work or for simply killing time since there is no work in hand.......the list can go on. One thing goes without saying that all these parties were "daaru parties". (if you had been thinking otherwise all this while, then you should drown yourself in "chullu bhar beer"). 

The other thing that every IMTian did without fail is gossipping, better known as "bhasad". It is something which is known as "Adda" in Bengali. It is hours of some intense discussion on some issue, which the members of the discussion feel very important at that particular time. However, the discussion does not have any productive value as such and like many other hundreds of discussions, they do not prove useful to anyone other than the fact that it helps kill a whole lot of time. Well, there is a group of people who actually reap the benefits of such seemingly "important" discussions, and they are the owners of the canteen, the tea-stall, the roll-stall, the paan-shop, the cigarette shop and the like. 

When people grow bored of bhasad (actually they never grew bored of bhasad; they suddenly remembered that they had to chat with their loved ones), they would go to their rooms and sit down to chat online (if the financial condition is on the lean side) or to talk for hours at length (if the financial condition is on the lean side.....but the person is unaware of it........you know, how people lose their senses in love).

After all these productive and knowledge-rearing activities, we tried and worked; and ofcourse finished the projects and assignments on time. We attended lectures, open-houses, a few more lectures and more open-houses. Then there were extra lectures (which people hated) and guest lectures (which people hurled abuses at.........emotions were stronger than regular hatred......more so because we were required to wear formal dresses).

The subjects were strikingly interesting. I have developed a simple model to help you find out how interesting the subjects were to me. The model is called the "Sleep" model. I will explain it with an example:

Finance: .......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Economics: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Human Resource Management: ............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzz

Operations: ....................................zzzzzzzzzzz..............................zzzzzzzzzzzzz..................zzzzz..........

Business Communication: ................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Marketing: ............................................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........................zzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Now carefully observe how long I slept at a stretch in a particular lecture. The longer the duration of the sleep at a stretch, the more boring it was to me.  As you can clearly see that I found marketing and operations to be the most interesting of all. This was pretty much how I used to attend lectures in the first year.

Now let us come to the most awaited part-the girls, the fairer sex, the next best creation of God (the first being marijuana ofcourse). It would be a mild way to put it if I say that there is a dearth of good looking girls in IMT because the fact of the matter is there are........NONE!!!!!!!!! ghhrrrr!!!!! (I am referring to only my batch; there were quite a few in the senior batch; however,as can be expected, they were all engaged to some loser or the other). As it is,the sex ratio is as low as 1:6 and on top of that the beauty (or the lack of it) of the lasses is way too much to be captured in words. We have females in all shapes and sizes; from drumsticks to pumpkins but not a single pretty damsel. I wonder what's wrong with the God's manufacturing plant. But I have realized one thing, that I must have done something mightily wrong in my previous life, some heinous crime, and now I am paying a heavy penalty for that. Four years in engineering and now in MBA; without a single pretty looking girl in sight!!!! If you think economic recession hurts, you will not survive in a recession of pretty lasses (you have no idea how much it hurts!!!).

That's enough for now!! i have got to go back to finish up my work and there is a lot of work lined up after that as well........because I haven't downloaded The Reader, Silence of the Lambs, My Best Friend's Girl, Before Sunrise, Angoor etc. etc. to only create a movie library (because then I won't use it ever; I suffer from a "terminal illness" which disallows me use any service or place which has the word "library" in it's name!!!!! )

Rest in Peace DP

I know that I am quite late in writing this but I couldn’t help it. It took me long to come to terms with the loss of one of my close friends. His name is Daidipya Kamble…..lovingly called as DP. He was a smart, suave and sober person who always looked dapper in whatever he wore. Maybe that was because he had an athletic physique which sportspersons generally have (he was the goalkeeper of the VJTI soccer team). I remember I used to make fun of his goalkeeping skills although at the back of my mind I knew that he was really good (that he was in the college team speaks for him). He used to take all that mockery in good humour. Even he used to get back at me for my antics and the way I speak (it’s the speed with which I speak). A couple of our friends and we had an absolutely great time during the ADSP (Advanced Digital Signal Processing) practical sessions in the 7th sem. That was the most memorable period in VJTI for me till today. Sometimes I used to show off my football skills (or the lack of it) to him and we used to have a hearty laugh about it.

Suddenly, these things were no more; never to happen again. It’s like some wicked witch has managed to rob me of a dear friend; and I was all too helpless.

It happened on the fateful evening of 14th May. Some of my friends and DP were in the college enjoying themselves as the final sem exams just got over. DP had got his bike all the way from Navi Mumbai (I wonder why). It was around 6:30 in the evening when DP decided to head for home and his friends saw him off. Sometime later, on the way, his bike skid through at Suman Nagar and he injured himself probably striking a tanker infront of him. Since no one was with him, we don’t know what exactly happened but he suffered severe groin injuries. He was reportedly taken to Juoy Hospital, Chembur (private hospital) but since this was a case of accident and might involve the police, the hospital’s authorities referred him to Rajawadi Hospital (govt. hospital). It was then that my classmates came to know about this from DP’s relatives and I came to know from my friends. To make things worse for the Kamble family, DP’s parents were out on a holiday to Nainital.

But there are a few questions still lingering in my mind: when did DP exactly succumb to his injuries? Was he brought dead to the Juoy Hosp. or did he die on the way to Rajawadi Hosp.?? was there any chance of saving him at any of the hospitals?? How did his bike skid in the first place?? Was there any third party involved in this fateful incident?? Because we surely don’t want to let the culprit roam around freely when our friend had to pay with his life. I cannot even imagine the excruciating pain that he had to go through before he met his end.

I am confused….really confused…..what should I do?? Should I mourn the death of my friend and feel sad that he had to depart for heavenly abode at such an early age when beautiful things were all lined up for his taking but he couldn’t even make the start?? Or should I sympathize with and console his parents and sister who are mentally struggling to accept the fact and are getting emotionally drained more and more with every passing moment. DP’s parents may be blaming themselves for not taking DP along with them as if that would have saved him (such feelings are natural when you desperately try to find out what could have been done to avert the situation). I fail to imagine the emotional turbulence that his kid sister must be going through as she will have no one to turn to to solve her maths problems or to talk her through tough times which generally occur during teenage times (children do not always confide in their parents). On whom will his parents depend when they grow old as that’s when people require the support of their children. DP’s father may be better off at handling this situation as he will stay distracted ( I am being optimistic) with office work but what about his mother?? It will be nauseating for her to spend time within the four walls of the house……..It will be claustrophobic. The person who is gone is gone……..it’s the ones he has left behind who have to suffer from the trauma.

I wish, hope and pray that DP finds peace wherever he goes but it will be difficult for him to find peace as he had a lot of duties to fulfill which the Almighty didn’t allow him to.

Every cloud has a silver lining

Well, this is how the old adage goes. However, does it hold true always??? Maybe the situation we have at hand will help us to decide this to a certain extent.

It’s a regular piece of news that female infanticide, female foeticide and other such heinous crimes are being committed in states such as Punjab and Haryana. It is commendable how efficiently the people over there keep at this activity as we can make out from the fact that we get to read about these incidents every week. (I have always felt that people over there do not have a sound knowledge of biology ; afterall they say ‘Sher da puttar’,’mard ka bachha’…….arre bhai it is the female of the species who give birth; praise the sherni not the sher.)

The Govt. of India has declared the embryo-test kit illegal and anyone using it and/or helping someone to use it is culpable and will be punished by the court of law. This means that the doctor, expectant parents and others who are a part of this fray will all be put behind bars or asked to cough up a hefty fine if caught. However, this has not deterred either the expectant parents or the doctor from conducting the sex-determination test. Infact, the doctors are giving the old saying ‘make hay while the sun shines’, a whole new meaning. They have started to charge exorbitant amounts to carry out the tests and the abortion process thereafter, if required.

‘If required’; now this is where the issue lies. This requirement has given rise to a new kind of crime. I am not trying to explain what this requirement means. The meaning is as old as the hills. ‘We do not want a girl child.’ Period. Everyone around wants a boy (if not all their children then atleast one…..”please God, help me get a boy….I am taking my share of efforts but you don’t seem to understand my plight”….This seems to be the prayer on people’s lips.).
(Forget about the value of a girl child…….atleast consider this: how are we going to start a family without a woman??? It is a genuine issue in Punjab and Haryana where the ratio of the number of females to that of males is not favourable……….and we say that homosexuality is a taboo in India.)

Before I get to the problem, let me just briefly describe the entire procedure that takes place. First nature plays its part. Then we have an expecting mother and the couple wants to know whether it’s going to be a boy (dowry earner, family name bearer) or a girl (dowry loser…..family name loser….what a waste!!!!!). If the test shows that the foetus is a male one then it’s perfectly fine otherwise the dreaded step of abortion has to be taken. Now, since there is a good demand of this thing doctors have raised their surgical charges.

But the doctors’ greed didn’t end there. They have started to falsely state that the foetus is a female one even though it is a male one. Now, this has been going on for some time now. (Even the poor woodcutter didn’t claim the silver and the golden axes when offered but took the humble wooden axe which belonged to him…….and look at our doctors… What a shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) This entire scenario is the big, fat, dark, dense cloud I was talking about.

However, with proper and abundant media coverage this situation can be brought under control. If required the media should manipulate the data in favour of the law (just increase the number of crimes committed). People should be made aware of this malpractice (false detection) carried out by the doctors. I am quite sure that people will think twice before going to a doctor if at all they go after such incidents. The Govt. need not go about preaching the value of a girl child. This process will stop anyway ; to save the boy child.

So, the atrocious process if continued will surely lead to its discontinuity. Well, we can consider this to be the silver lining (although there will have to be quite a few foetus sacrifices in the process).

But, the feminists may not still be pleased for the simple reason that this process will not stop because there will be an increased awareness of the beauty of having a girl child but about the increased fear of losing the ‘precious’ boy child.

Saved my blushes but.......lost out on the whole

Yours truly is in final year BTech (Electronics) in a prestigious institute.I am still struggling to figure out just how I managed to get this far. Maybe I have the answer here..........

It was the morning of the day when the embedded systems' viva was scheduled to take place. I reached college to find out that my classmates were busy skimming and scanning through what is supposedly a book on ES. I, however had forgotten even the name of the book which I had got for this beloved subject. The class was abuzz with words such as memory, controller, operating systems, programmers and the like.
I was getting more anxious by the minute. Still I maintained a calm and composed look on my face but deep within I knew that apart from the fact that it was ES viva that day, I knew nothing else regarding the subject.
I was thinking and trying to come up with a smart, witty answer to wriggle out of the awkward situation which I was bound to fall in when I would be asked my share of questions. But...........it is so damn obvious that I failed to come up with one...................just look at the adjectives I have associated with the word 'answer'..................need I say anything more!!!!!!!
After having thought for a long time for an excuse and having failed to find one, I gave up and just prepared myself to meet my fate.
There were a dozen people before me. As they went in and came out, the usual practice of stopping each one of them and asking for their questions and answers begun. I realized that they were asked some simple questions but some very difficult questions as well (by difficult I mean it was difficult at that time; when people (barring a few) prepare for a viva by just glancing through the book, any in-depth question is bound to appear very difficult).
I panicked........I felt that I should glance through atleast one topic. I was doing so when a well-wisher of mine walked up to me and said,"Do you feel that you would be able to understand anything that you are reading now?". (Good question!!!!! why now........I never understood anything that I have read till today.......so today would be no different). I, almost instantly experienced mental peace and was able to relax(all this was happening while my well-wisher was busy answering people's doubts right infront of me) .
Then came my turn.............I entered and a female MTech student asked me to take a seat. I was about to say that there would be no need for that as I would not take much of her valuable time anyway.It so began

She: Have you studied ES????
(She must be awesome at face reading!!!!!!!! And I felt that God had answered my prayers without me even offering one........what a question!!!!!!!  now I could take it from there to anywhere I wished to.......)

I:No, ma'am........nothing at all........(Thank God!!! This is what I had been planning to say since    morning. I only lacked an opportunity...........and now I have been given that chance....)

She: Not even a single topic???

I: No, ma'am.........nothing......

She: When is the EST(End Semester Exam) ??

I: It starts on the 29th of April.......

She: So, it's just two weeks................when will you start...........what have you been doing all this         while?

I: Ma'am, I will start a little later as I am busy with the project work (I have heard that 'lies for a     good purpose are forgiven'). I didn't get much time to study because of this.......

She: Ok, so tell me something about your project................
(I got my chance and so I started to blabber about our project)

She: So, your project is mostly Matlab based........

I: Totally..........

She: Alright, you can go now........

Wow!!!!!!!! Absolutely wow!!!!!!!!!!! I might not have got a great grade for the viva but atleast I didn't feel embarrassed when I was in there. I was comfortable all the time. I didn't know anything about ES. So, I would have have never got a grand score anyway. But, atleast I escaped the pain I could have been put through. 
Now lets go back to the reason which prompted me to discuss this. How I managed to get this far. It is because of incidents such as this. The whole viva show is a farce..........the examination system is being ridiculed all the time by our institute. There are people who still manage to gain knowledge without complaining inspite of this mess. But there are students like me, who use the very first opportunity to shun away from studies.
The institute is certainly sparing the rod and spoiling the child.

Goa trip

The night before:

Our train was to leave at 5:10 am on Friday. Since I knew that it would be difficult for me to get hold of a taxi which would take me to Dadar station in such wee hours in the morning I decided to spend Thursday night at the hostel. Atleast I would have some company while going to Dadar and whatever problems we might face we would tackle them in a group. I was told by my friends at the hostel that there was a group of hostelites who had gone to Goa and was yet to return and possibly would return by Friday morning. So, there would be plenty of vacant beds for me to occupy.
Two days before I was about to set out I came to know that another classmate of mine had also planned to stay the night at the hostel. Anyway, that didn’t bother me as I knew there were plenty of beds on offer.
So, I went to the hostel on Thursday night after I have finished my dinner. I reached around 10:30 pm.There we chatted for some time and then we were about to hit the sack when my friend Kushal’s roommate entered at around 11:30 pm (his name is Harshad Phadnis aka Phaga).He had a smile on his face as if to say “Gotcha buddy, I know what you were trying to do”. Phaga was not supposed to come back before Saturday or even Sunday. So,there goes one bed………but no problem……..there were still many more. But Phaga not only brought himself but also news that Halbe was planning to come as well. I found out that Halbe called up Phaga at around 8 pm and then it was 11:30 pm. So, I thought that Halbe might not turn up. But as luck would have it, he did and with Sirsikar in tow.
Still no problem…………there were still quite a few beds left. But now I have to act fast so that I get the bed of my choice. I quickly moved to another room and to my ‘pleasant’ surprise I found that Deep, Ronak, Veera gossiping with Manish in that room. But…..I told myself not to panic……no…there is nothing to get perturbed about. The group of hostelites which had gone to Goa was yet to return. As I left Manish’s room, I found myself facing a group of hostelites talking to Bakshi who was sharing his experiences in Goa. As you would have guessed by now, he was a part of that group of hostelites which was yet to return.
Some really scary thoughts crossed my mind……….would I have to sleep on the floor or in the corridor (the hostel rooms are so clean that I would rather stay awake than to sleep on the floor or anywhere else) or on Dadar station’s platform. I was running from this room to that one and to the next one. By God’s grace I came to a room which Mudassar shared and since he was away to Alibaugh I got his bed. I thanked my stars. Had it not been for them, my so called friends had almost ensured that I did not go to sleep and ‘burn the midnight oil for no reason’.
I wonder what was so elusive about the hostel that night. Everyone lived at well connected places but I. There were no particularly great facilities or amenities available at the hostel that could possibly entice them (Even I thought about it 142 times before I leapt for it). Nobody watched any movie or listened to any music or gossiped to spend the night. Everyone slept; so why not at their home???

to be contd..........

Too bad......

Company recruiter (CR), Boss(B)

CR(to boss) :Sir, we have received around 250 resumes for this post.
        How should we go about handling such a large number of people??

B: Do one thing........Call only the first 100 people who have 
  sent their resumes the earliest.

CR: But sir, then we may lose some good candidates and 
  it would also be very unlucky for them.

B: Well, I am sorry to say but 
  there is no place for unlucky people in this company. 

 

Interviews

This is a process which people have to go through when they apply to a company for a job or to an institute to pursue a course. Generally people loathe it. Some get tensed over it. Tension rises and turns into panic for a few people. But what for?

If we just split the word into two, we get ‘inter’(involving two or more entities) and ‘views’ (opinion, a way of looking). So, it would mean that we (interviewees) need to present our views on topics which would be asked by the interviewers. I sounds pretty simple. There should not be a problem with that. Is there anything to be scared of when we are asked about ourselves……or when we are asked about our goal(s) in life????

Well, there is a reason for which people get perturbed. It is because of the ‘other’ meaning of ‘inter’------to bury. That is what we have to do during interviews…..bury our genuine thoughts and come up with well-prepared , articulate, diplomatic, ‘beating around the bush’ answers. And that’s the reason people spend hours (some even days and a few others even months; they are actually ‘men of few words’) to prepare what is to be said about themselves (forget the issues around the world).

When we would be asked about our hobbies, we should mention only those activities, the details (history, geography, why financial investments, why not financial investments in that sector etc) of which we know thoroughly. The general perception about ‘hobby’ is that it an activity of interest which one carries out during one’s pastime. If that person is grilled like this about his hobby and he fails to give the answers and loses out, then would that activity ever remain as his hobby? The poor chap might spend sleepless nights after the incident and when he gets some sleep, he might get nightmares.(hobby to horrible).

If we are asked for our views on some controversial issue, then we should preferably give a ‘sitting on the fence’ view. We can give our genuine opinion as well but very few of us can defend that stand successfully. And please……don’t get emotional about the topic and blurt out some extremist view….never…..ever.(Even if they say that you were tied up and your sister got raped and murdered infront of you and now you, with a pistol in your hand, come face to face with the murderer, it would be better if you say that you wouldn’t kill the criminal;; you should say that you will take the course of law, the ‘mighty’ law).

Then comes the question regarding the strengths and weaknesses………….great people used to say that one who feels oneself to be the most intelligent is the biggest fool of all………so, is identifying oneself to be smart, a strength or a weakness?? When we state a few weaknesses, are we actually displaying the rare strength of self-evaluation and self-identification??? Here again, we would be better off not mentioning any ‘strong’ weaknesses that we possess as they might outweigh the ‘weak’ strengths that we were once proud of.

Then the trick question---- why this job? If you say ‘job profile’ then they will catch you on the wrong foot saying that you would go to some other company if they offer you a better profile; in short you are not in the company to stay, so there is no point in recruiting you.(As if they themselves have sworn never to leave the company come what may). If you say ‘salary’… then only a miracle can see you through………..no,no…not through to securing the job but through the exit door, with any kind of dignity. They will make you feel that you are a needy, greedy person who drools at the sight of money. So, what will get you in or atleast leave you with a chance to get in??? Singing praises of your prospective employer------but don’t go overboard with it……..sing in tune or you might sound flattery and you would see your chances fluttering away.

Well, the interviewers have many tricks and questions up their sleeve. We should not let down our guard even for a moment. Boy!!!! This process is tough……….I guess this grueling session comes next only to the interrogation procedure carried out by the police(We all know how friendly the police are with the criminals, don’t we).

to be contd......

Sir Don

Interviewer(to Sir Donald Bradman) : Sir,what do you think about                                                       England's present bowling attack?
Bradman     : I think I would be able to score atleast 60 odd runs...........
Interviewer: But Sir, you are forgetting that your test average is 99.94.                        Dont you think that 60 is too less??? 
                       I mean, arent you rating them very high??
Bradman     : Well, you are forgetting that I am 80 now.

J for.......

      Loser??? Useless??? Defeatist???? What nonsense…….. my name is Joyshurjo which means ‘victorious sun’ or ‘the sun which has achieved victory’………sounds strong, doesn’t it?? When the name is so strong, can the person bearing the name be anything different??……..I am still trying to figure out why my grandmother has named me so…what qualities has she seen in me to put such a heavy tag around my neck? (Neither I have any victory to my name till date and nor I have that glow to spread light in everyone’s lives) I am never sure of anything (every person I have come across has told me that I look confused)….in fact I am not even sure what I should say when I am asked my name (seriously!!!)..should I say ‘Jaysurya’(for others to be able to pronounce it easily) or should I say ‘Joyshurjo’(which is what my name is in Bengali)…….so, a person who gets addled when asked for his name,can he be sure of anything else??? Isn't it unfair that others expect confidence in me??
      But I can say one thing with surety that I am the black sheep in my family……….I pity my parents who might have thought that the family’s qualities would get brushed off on me but I have successfully managed to brush them off me….(my skin pigment is ‘naya Apex Ultima: bahari deewaron pe dhul ko tikne na de’).
     I stand last (almost) in my 70 odd strong class….well that’s consistency since I stood 70th in the mah-engg cet as well……..the 9 pointers feel that I am……err…(well actually they are unaware of my presence)……well, my pals sometimes refer to me as ‘baal ki dukaan’ (they say that I am hairy, very hairy)…..but my body hair actually adds only 200 gm to my weight (oops……..I forgot to add one more zero to the right).....my classmates are apprehensive about my temper (my message to them ‘please don’t tamper with my temper’…afterall tampering is never appreciated be it ‘ball tampering’ or ’evidence tampering’ or ’file tampering’)……my parents dote on me (I don’t exactly know what doting means but my pals say that they have doting parents; so I think that even I have doting parents)…….if I ask for a fancy meal then I am told to get used to plain meals as that’s what I would be able to get in future……my pillow was cut in halves to make a comfortable sleeping mattress for the pup my brother had brought home a couple of months back (is this doting???).
      My technical knowledge is as good as Rabindranath Tagore’s command over Hindi…….. …infact I don’t even have the nuisance value that a certain Mamta Bannerjee enjoys (don’t rub your eyes when you read that she has devoted followers…..although whether they understand or not what she says is a big question……whether even she understands what she says is an even bigger question…….but they all love her….and as we all know love is blind; in this case deaf)…well talking about deafness……it can be both good and bad……..in MB’s case it is good for her…….however when I speak my words fall on deaf ears which is not so good.
      Philosophers say that when you feel angst you should look at people who are in a worse state than the one you are in……..eg: when you feel that you don’t have much money to enjoy life then you should look at the roadside beggar(that’s common perception…….nowadays there are a few millionaire,multi-millionaire beggars as well….so choose your beggar properly)……so when my peers feel down and out they look at me and realize that they are far better off(in fact on top of the world)……so,I guess a few suicides get averted.
     Well,well,well………what do I have here!!!!!!………do I have a situation where I am worthy enough????......Guys……I think I do…….so,I am not worthless after all……now I feel good.

K for 'Hondya'

    
His name is Ketan.He is however known by his nickname 'Hondya' (courtesy to the 'thick' layer of hair all over his body like Anil Kapoor).
He is a sincere and industrious student who takes every piece of work seriously.And as you would have guessed by now he does accomplish every task assigned to him more than successfully.He stood 20th in the merit list in the SSC exams.He had a very good score in the HSC exams as well.He is successful at whatever he does. He is one of the few 9 pointers in our class. He is awarded the JRD Tata scholarship every year.But he is not proud of these feats (atleast he doesnt show his pride).
     If you need some info regarding anything then he is the right person. Its not that he knows everything but whatever info he has, you can rest assured that it is authentic (unless he says otherwise). If you need any advice or idea about something then you can approach him.He will tell you what he thinks to be right and will give the reasons for him to think so He is quiet by nature but occasionally cracks good jokes.And above all……..he doesn’t lose his temper.He is a perfect example of the saying ‘anger is the acid which does more harm to the vessel in which it is kept than in which it is poured’.
    
    Ok.Now its time for some fun.
    Now that you know he is hairy,do you know that he has got a scary amount of hair on his back too??? It actually peeps out from underneath his T shirt sometimes.He has got a slight paunch (when I say slight it actually means more than slight).He keeps a moustache which actually makes him look twice as old as he is.(ie in the 40s).Infact once during his schooldays he was asked by a conductor about the number of times he has failed in school (mind it that he stood first from 5th to 9th).He tries to lose weight but the poor fellow only manages to gain some.He makes a hand gesture which is unique to him when he speaks enthusistically.He claims that he doesn’t view adult content although he has set a related site as his homepage.
But how does he interact with me??? An excerpt from our conversation
I: ketan,do you have this book? (book on some technical sub)
K: yes i do
I: so do you mind giving it to me for a few days?
K: why do you need it? What will you do with it?
I: (flummoxed)(what can a person do with a book apart from reading it) I need to study from it.
K: (burst out laughing)
I: what happened? What made you laugh so much?
K: nothing…….i could never imagine you reading a book………so when you said that you would read it i thought it was the biggest joke I have ever heard.

This is one of the many times he has humiliated me. He believes that I am an ill-informed, almost illiterate, useless, insignificant loser. (For any more of such adjectives you can ask him). And as I have said he is a person who puts his thoughts into action and so he ill-treats me accordingly. He treats people of his calibre very well, very politely.
    But I still like him.I still admire him.And there is no law which states that admiration has to be mutual. I am waiting for that day to arrive when he realizes that every person should be treated with equal respect be he a winner or a loser.

Life at VJTI

Well...................hhmmmm..................errrr.................................there is no such thing at VJTI.(without considering my friend circle)

Midsem Muddle

     It was a pleasant sunday evening and I was going about doing my pretty usual stuff (ie. doing nothing) when I suddenly realized that I had a midsem exam to appear for on Monday.And in order to appear for any exam you are supposed to know the time table of that exam.So,I rang up Ketan.He told me that the first paper might have got rescheduled to 11:30. (Rescheduled??? What was its scheduled time in the first place????) I got to know that it was supposed to start at 9:30.
     I didnt know how to react to this piece of news.If the paper got delayed then I would get some time to study for that subject which I was yet to start.However,that would reduce the time I would get for the second paper.Anyway,as it stood I would be able to write atleast one paper well instead of messing up both of them.
     Then Alok called me up to tell me the same piece of news with an added twist.He told me that Rohit had posted on orkut that the exam would start on Tuesday.I called up Sanjay to check the validity of the news and he told me the same thing but also mentioned that it was not from any reliable source.In other words,I should be in college by 9:30 or come late at my own risk.
     I started off next morning for college and reached by 9:10. (All the while I was hoping that the exam would start at 11:30) But it was hope against all hope.When I reached college I saw that students were running helter-skelter(which I realized later that they were trying to find their arranged classroom).Then came the jolt........exam would start at 9:30. Responsible people like the Comptroller of Exam told students that it would start at 11:30 but......................
    I was done with only 6 pages of chapter 2 and had to even look at the heading of chapter 3. (and yes,one more thing;chapter 1 wasnt there......this is for people who would start thinking that I was through with one chapter and started off with the next).
    Then I came to know that quite a few students didnt make it to the exam(actually they didnt want to). So,the college authorities had to arrange for a re-exam on friday.There were some adamant students who insisted that they take the exam that day itself.And so they did.
    The midsem exam has become a farce.This is not only my view but also has been concurred by some authority in the Comps department.(A few comps guys went to that person to tell him that they had missed the paper and would like it to be rearranged.The person initially refused.But on pestering he blurted out " arre midsem hi to hai,nahi diya to bhi chalta hai")
     I am not at all blaming him for making this kind of a statement.Infact he is the 'one' for me as he has been brutally honest.If only we had such people in the exam dept then we would have been saved from such harassment. (actually i am just exaggerating a bit; harassment??? what kind of harassment???  midsem or not,my time table doesnt change.I dont care a damn about it. Infact 'midsem' for me means 'less duration of college',so more fun)